Backtrack

I have been procrastinating on writing this for a couple of hours now, so I have pushed myself to start writing.

I know as soon as I have completed this chapter, I will feel so much better and accomplished than I will have procrastinating through online shopping (but FYI I do need new workout leggings ok!).

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Disconnect

Last week I had a break from my screens at home. 

I ran instagram on autopilot, watched re-runs of Archer, and slept. 

I work in the corporate world, so I stare at screens all day, typing away, and it can be really difficult to come home at night and do it all over again. 

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Holes

So.. I fell in a hole and had a huge panic attack last week, and really until today I have been sleeping or on autopilot. 

I don’t really have a huge amount to say on it at the moment, except to let anyone else struggling right now that you aren’t alone.

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Mental

You know, sometimes I feel quite mental. 

In the throws of a panic attack, I am at such a heightened state that everything looks and feels a bit technicolour. 

However other times, everything seems quite normal, but sometimes I wonder what is actually real and what isn’t. I’m not talking hallucinations or anything, just sometimes feeling things are a little off. 

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Weight

So I am considered over weight. 

After years of medical issues more serious than my weight, I am not afraid to admit I have a little too much weight on this frame. 

And this is where I promptly fall foul of the weight loss industry and how it interacts with the medical sector. 

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Happiness

So H and I attended an engagement party yesterday for some family friends. 

And I will preface this now by saying no, I do not want to get engaged, certainly not now, but in the future, maybe. 

(However back to the point) The couple was as all newly engaged couples are; happy as can be. Happy as pigs in mud. So in love with each other that it radiated to all of us, and made us happy just to know that they are happy.

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Threes

They say bad things always come in threes. That has certainly been true for my life the last 3 months.

Let me preface this by saying that H and I have been struggling for a while. Not with each other; rather with the circumstances we have been thrown into over the last 2 – 3 years.

Whilst its been tough, we’ve been there together through it all.

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